gymleaderkyle:

some stupid bitch: i dont want to watch american horror story because i dont like scary things

me:

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(via somebody-who)

desequilibradx:

whitecap-bay:

so realistic, you can see her chest moving up and down, you can feel her breathing

love her so bad

desequilibradx:

whitecap-bay:

so realistic, you can see her chest moving up and down, you can feel her breathing

love her so bad

(via my-pussy-tastes-like-coca-cola)

  • When someone walks slower than me: omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma
  • When someone walks faster than me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt
  • When someone walks at the same pace as me: who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before I call the cops

clannyphantom:

*takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle* my day was fine

(via zackisontumblr)

500daysofeffyou:

SpongeBob, where’s my order?

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Did you look under the tray?

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Oh. No I didn’t, sorry.

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(via ruinedchildhood)

“you know you’re fucked when those late night thoughts start hitting you in the middle of the day”
“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
Ernest Hemingway (via amortizing)

(via familysupposetomakeyoumiserable)